Don't Trust List: Part II

Due to the rampant popularity of the Don't Trust List, millions of my most faithful followers have asked me for more examples of people they can't trust. So here we go:

1. Don't trust a guy with an exit strategy.

Ladies! This is vitally important! See, one time I had a friend who dated something like 3 girls during one school year. I asked him how he moved from one to the other so quickly, and without hesitation he said that he had them lined up three deep. So he not only knew who was next. But who was after that.


2. Don't anyone who take any movie too seriously

Perfect example: Boondock Saints

I knew alot of guys that saw this movie and started quoting it a little too seriously. They didn't become vigilantes but we had to sleep with one eye open.

Girl example: He's Just Not That In To You

Yah, I said it. And you know it is true. The worst part about that movie is that girls do not realize the message is that they are stupid. In the end, the movie reinforced the stereotypes that it tried to dismiss - the happy girls ended up getting what they wanted.

3. Don't trust people who say their favorite quote is Ghandi's "Be the change you with to see in the world."

The thing about this is that if it really is your favorite quote you are lame.

4. Don't trust anyone who says they are a fan of a show but was not a regular viewer of at least one of the first two seasons.

See, this has become a huge deal for our generation thanks to The Office. So many people were suddenly huge fans but started in the third or fourth season. That is great and all but I personally believe it peaked in season 2. I started watching Scrubs somewhere around season 6. I am a fan, but I don't flaunt it. I fell in love with more reruns. It isn't the same.

5. Don't trust a man wearing more diamonds than you.

A man who is wearing copious amounts of diamonds tells you a few things. One they sell use cars. Two they might be a televangelist. Three they have horrible fashion sense and want to look rich.

If they really have that much money, they will know better.