Seminary Bald Spot

I guess it is time that we talk about something I have been putting off for a long time.

My seminary bald spot.

First let me back up and tell you why I have always been afraid of going bald. See, I asked for it.

When I was a little kid and it was time to go to get a haircut, I would always ask my mom if I could get a "Papa haircut." Papa is my grandfather. While he is without a doubt one of the most interesting and talented men of all time, he is lacking in one serious area. He is bald. As a child, I assumed this was the product of his choice and that he cut his hair that way. I wanted to be like him.... Flash forward about 10 years.

When I was in junior high and working with my brothers and my Papa during the summer doing home repair on a house he owned, he sat us down one day and told us that modern science had determined that there was a 33% chance of being bald based on the baldness of your grandfather on your mom's side. As the grandfather on my mom's side, Papa felt it necessary to warn his boys of the impending doom that was certain to befall our hairlines.

The problem is...I have two brothers.

Never one to doubt the wisdom of my Papa, I began to wonder which of the three of us would go bald. I didn't have to wait long. My older brother, without missing a beat, turned to me and said "Sorry, its going to be you." Then, turning around and walking off with my younger brother in tow, my fate was sealed. I was going to be bald. Just like Papa. Now, I love my Papa very much, but at 24, I am not ready to achieve his greatness or baldness... So back to my seminary bald spot.

Now, you are probably thinking to yourself, what in the world is he talking about. Well, let me explain.

When I graduated from Arkansas I had a glorious mane. A full head of sometimes reddish brown hair closely cropped to ensure neatness and the occasional salute from people thinking I was in the military.

Anyway. It all started halfway through my senior year. I saw a spot in my hair - home to one of the most glorious cowlicks known to man - that looked a little thin. Nothing to be alarmed about but definitely a development to watch.

Well, I did what any self-respecting 22 year old would do - I ignored it. After all, I asked the guy who cut my hair what he thought. He said of course not that was ridiculous. I should have tipped him more. Anyway...

When I headed out for Texas and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, I began to notice the spot was a little more pronounced. Could this be? Yes, it was. I was developing a trademark bald spot. Sadly, it did not even have the decency to be right in the middle of my head along the back. No it is cocked over to one side. Just another excuse for someone to call me a goofy looking dude.

Anyway, I call it my seminary bald spot because well. I was sitting in chapel one day and got to looking around. Everywhere I looked there were trademark bald patches. This is no hyperbole - at least 75% of the guys had developed some sign of being follicly challenged. Then it sank in. Seminary makes you go bald. I had walked into the lion's den. My life, and hair, would never be the same.

Sadly, about this time, it became harder and harder to conceal my growing shame.

Even after I left seminary, the spot continued to grow. While the threat of bald spot expansionism still looms, it appears for now that the growth has abated. Just one place on my noggin I should probably apply sunscreen

Will I ever know what the real impact of going to seminary was on my hair? Probably not. The lesson for you is to look at your pastor in church on Sunday. There is a 95% chance that there is a direct relationship between his godliness and the prominence of hair on the back of his head.

I am glad I was able to get that off my chest...