The Worst Haircut Ever

I should have known that things weren't right. Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was the fact that I got lost on my way to Sports Clips and chose to go to Great Clips instead. I felt a twinge of anxiety in my gut.

But I didn't listen. Oh was I wrong.

Things started off well. Immediately after walking in, I was in a chair ready to get my haircut. Everything was going alright. The lady cutting my hair seemed to have a good idea of what she was doing. It felt nice to have my haircut - it was way overdue.

Then, things started to deteriorate - fast.

Not two minutes into my haircut, the lady said "You should know that we offer a wonderful selection of dandruff shampoos." That was all she said. Just left that hanging out there.

After a good ten minutes and obviously undeterred, she decided to strike up conversation. This is seriously what she said:

Her: "You remind me of a friend of mine."
Me: "Really?"
Her: "Yah, he died of pancreatic cancer a few years ago"
Me: (awkward silence)

She then proceeded to talk for like five minutes about how a friend of hers died of pancreatic cancer several years ago and his sister died a month after him... A really horrible story, but what did that have to do with me?....

So I responded: "That is really sad. I'm sorry about that."
Her: "Cutting your hair makes me sad."

Sidebar: What do you say to that? How do you respond? That is a major league party foul!

Needless to say, I didn't say anything for the rest of the haircut. When I finally got home, I checked out my hair in the mirror only to find that I had a distinctive line in my hair due to a poorly executed fade...

This is the stuff blogs are made of.