The Rent Car

There is a picture of me at my kindergarten graduation. I am wearing a pastel, plaid jacket. A little pink, a dash of baby blue, all in all it was pure man.

Looking at this picture the other day, I asked my mom why in the world she let me wear that jacket. To which she replied, "It was just you."

Well, I think that I started to really understand this last Thursday when I paid for my first rent car.

Stephanie and I went to Washington DC this past weekend to check out schools and look for apartments. Because we had to get around the metro area, it was time for me to get my first rent car. After paying entirely too much, I made my way to the parking deck in a hurry to get to the hotel.

Then, I saw it. The moment I laid eyes on it; I knew this was my car for the weekend - a neon yellow Chevy Cobalt....

For those of you who are regular readers, you will remember that yellow happens to be the color of the sun as well as my Jeep "Neil Diamond."

So, there I stood at midnight in the parking garage of Reagan National Airport. Just me, my wife, and a yellow fireball I would be driving.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I told Stephanie: "It is almost like they knew..."

In the back of my head, I heard my mom saying, "It is just you"

Overcoming the Madness of March

Today, it began. The national basketball championship is at stake - only to be decided by the big dance. Today, 64 teams were set to make a run at history. Give them two weeks and only four will stand.

Since the action has started, I know what you are thinking: "The tournament already started why is he telling us how to fill out our brackets?" Well, I will tell you what. I have been thinking about those of you who are disappointed and depressed because your bracket fell apart today. You are dreading going to work tomorrow so that you don't have to think about the $5 you lost by picking Sam Houston State to win it all....

So, I have decided to give you some of my favorite strategies for picking a winning bracket*:

1. Go with your Gut: This time-honored strategy relies on a series of snap judgments to pick the winner. Really, it is easy. Grab a pen (a pencil would let you erase) and jot down names as fast as you can. For example: "Butler v. University of Texas - El Paso" Quick, don't even think about it - Butler... Well, you would have just been right.

2. Copy Someone Famous: Now that the president has made it cool to fill out brackets, you have to get in on this action. Luckily for you, these things are highly publicized. If you are nervous, google Heidi Montag and ncaa tournament - voila! It is that easy. If you are at a loss for famous celebs to choose because nothing comes up for Danny DeVito or Helen Hunt, just turn on ESPN and let them work their magic.

3. Mascot Fight: We all know that the real reason we have college sports is to figure out a proximate way what mascot would beat another mascot in a cage match. For example, which one of you has not spent hours wondering who wins the fight between the Montana Grizzlies and the New Mexico Lobos? How about between the Syracuse Orange and the Vermont Catamounts? Yah, that's right. Well, that is a perfect way to choose your bracket. Picture the real life version of your mascot fighting it out with the other version. Warning: This can have some problems such as when the Stanford Cardinal whose mascot is a giant Redwood faces the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks.....

4. Straight Chalk: Don't ask me why but the experts call it picking the chalk when you go by tournament seeding. This is actually a foolproof strategy for the lazy bracketologist - all the thinking is done for you. You are just filling in the blanks. Ironically, you probably beat me.....

5. Pick based on Coaches: One of my favorite strategies is to pick your teams based on who is at the helm. For professional sports aficionados, this is frowned upon since everyone knows no one listens to a coach who makes half of what you do. However, in college, the salaries are roughly equivalent (jk) so the players might possibly listen. So, when you look at a match up, Wikipedia the coach's record in the tournament and look for other clues like national championship rings. This can be a big help.

6. Senior Point Guards: When all is said and done, the most important thing that a team can have is senior leadership. In the days of one-and-done, senior leadership is extremely rare. That is what makes it so compelling when you find the guy who has done the time, whose career could possibly end with the final horn. That is the guy I want to be in charge of my team. (Sidenote: a really good junior who is the picture of dependability will do too)

7. Coin Toss: I actually tried this one year. You go match up to match up flipping a coin. I was better in the first round than my actual bracket with this method. Unfortunately, Montana State didn't have enough to go all the way that year....

8. Name Recognition: The old faithful. Simply choose the team you have heard of the most. The major problem with this is that Duke wins a completely disproportionate number of times.

Honorable mentions: letting children pick, picking based off of your wife's favorite colors, picking based off of number of guys with mohawks, picked based on the team with a guy who has a crazy name.


So for those of you embarrassed at the water cooler tomorrow, remember these strategies and be a winner.

* In the interest of full disclosure. I have never won a tournament pool. Truth is I never can follow the rule....

Mr and Mrs Caleb Osborne

Well, for all of my blog fans out there, I would like to start with an apology for not keeping you posted on what has been going on in my life. I know it was rude of me, but well, I think that you will understand.

Where to begin...

Oh yah, see, I got married January 9th. But, first, lets back up.

Here is the rough timeline of where I have been.

{Skip October, November, and half of December - they went too fast, I don't remember them anyway}

Dec. 17 - My birthday. I turned 25 and my insurance rates plummeted.

Dec. 19 - Ellie's birthday, but I missed it because Stephanie graduated from A&M.... WHOOP!

Dec. 21 - Move out of my apartment and head to Dallas for one long roadtrip.

Dec. 25 - Jesus' birthday

Dec. 26 - make the lonely trek to Little Rock by myself. When I returned to Dallas, it would be to get married.

Dec. 29-Jan. 7 - Spend the better part of my two week Christmas vacation cutting down a tree with Papa. Oh and it was really cold

Jan. 8 - Whirlwind day. Left Little Rock in the wee hours of the morning with the temperature coming in at 12 degrees. Actually tried to stop at Starbucks, but the pipes were frozen... Caravan with none other than Van Thompson and Christopher P. Danforth. Epic. Picked Danny up at DFW and grabbed lunch at Chuy's in Dallas where we convinced the waitress to give us temporary tattoos of Elvis (True Story). That night was the wedding rehearsal and my final cigar as a single man...

Jan. 9 - Wedding Day. After a lovely breakfast at IHOP, managed to be late to the church for pictures and had to put on my tux as I walked into the building - it inspired tremendous confidence in everyone. Fortunately, everything went off without a hitch and we were married.

{Sidebar} I would like to clear up a few things here. First, I did not kiss Stephanie with just a peck. I was just tasteful. I kissed just the right amount. Second, yes, it is true. My name was misspelled on the unity candle.

Jan. 10 - headed off to Puerto Rico for our honeymoon. Landed just in time to be whisked to the cruise ship - Princess Cruises. The world's largest collection of upper middle aged vacationers I have ever been around.

Jan. 10 - 17 - Honeymoon - We had a great time. Our boat stopped at St. Thomas, Tortola, Antigua, St. Lucia and Barbados. It was fantastic. Nice and warm. Plenty of Sunburn. I swam with turtles. It was a deeply spiritual experience. Oh, and Stephanie and I had a great time.

Jan. 18 - Robert E. Lee/Martin Luther King Jr. Day - Finally a day off! moved to College Station and got my game face on.

Jan. 19 - present - I am not sure all that has gone on. Pretty much I have been extremely busy with school, work, and learning to be a husband. I really enjoy the latter.

I will do better to keep this thing updated more often.


Stay classy...

Where I've been

Well sports fans, I hate to break it to you, but I actually had stuff to do in September that was more important than this blog. Sorry. But hey, it hurts me more to say it than it hurts you.

Ya, I didn't buy it when my parents said that when I was a kid either.

Anyway, here are a few of the things that I have been up to in the month of September:

- School, school, and more school.... That is really the theme of my life. I spend something like 10 hours a day up there. Actually, one day I spent 25 hours in one day up there - it was complicated and I dont want to talk about it.

- Working hard for the money - This year I am working 20 hours a week for a professor at the Bush School. I am teaching review sessions for his class twice a week, and I also am doing research about legislation. I enjoy it.

Not to be outdone, I am still working for review for the Office of Admissions and Records. I really enjoy the people I work with. They are good people. I also enjoy any situation in which I am the youngest person.


- King of the Hill's finale - one of the days that I have dreaded for years finally happened the in September. The long running comedy classic came to an end with the airing of an appropriate yet touching finale. Fans of the show will understand the sadness that certainly ensued. It is hard to say goodbye to a show that has meant so much to me over the years. Fortunately, it survives into perpetuity through the beauty of syndication.


- LSAT - I kind of kept this below the radar the last few weeks, but I wanted to take the LSAT to have a score in the record books. There are several reasons - the least of which this is the only standardized test besides the MCAT that I have not taken. But really, this summer I spent alot of times around legal issues and researching them. A number of the people I worked with and around were lawyers. This made me realize that this is a piece I might like to add to my education one day. So, it is good to have that in my pocket. However, as always, there is a story involved.... Soon to come.


- Stephanie's Birthday. We didn't do anything major for this one, but I thought that it shoudl be noted that Stephanie's birthday was this month. This is also a good time to point out that my birthday is in two and a half months, so be thinking!

- Arkansas vs. A&M - One of the biggest events of the fall is the first annual Southwest Classic - a football game between the two universities with which I have been affiliated. I think it is awful nice of them to play a footbal game to determine which school appreciates me more. You might have watched and seen that my Arkansas Razorbacks won the game. It was pretty awesome. The good news is that Stephanie still wants to marry me - the ability to overcome natural Aggie instincts is imperative.

There has been alot more going on but that is all for now....

The Duct Tape-Water Bottle Chair

Now for a story that few have ever heard.

It is a true story. Ask my freshman roommate Danny.

During my freshman year of college, I got really interested in recycling. Well not so much for the environment but more as a weird kind of arts and crafts project. During my freshman year, I had saved the 20 oz. Sam's Choice water bottles that I drank every day in class. Feeling creative in my free time, I decided to make something - a chair to be exact.

So, using just duct tape and the water bottles, I made a chair for my room. It worked. Well enough that I almost thought about changing my major to engineering.

Unfortunately, after about two or three weeks of the chair, someone came into my room and broke it. It was not built for lateral motion.

Unable to part with my creation and unwilling to walk down the stairs to the trash room, I opted for the next best thing - leaving the chair in the hallway.

Flash forward something like a month to the end of the school year. Somehow, my roommate Danny came into the possession of some flowers. Not wanting them any longer, we decided to try the time tested method of leaving them in the hall. Sure enough, just minutes later, they were gone.

The next day, Danny was walking down the hall of another floor in our dorm when he happened to look into the open door. There in the room of girls that we did not know was what can only be described as a shrine to the stuff we didn't want any more.

There in that room was the duct tape water bottle chair, the dying flowers, and everything that we had left out in the hall over the course of several weeks.

There you have it. A shrine to our freshman year. By some girls that we didn't know.

True story

Cosborne's Magical Mystery Tour

I know what you are thinking.... What has Cosborne been up to for the last week?

Well, ask and you shall receive....

Let's start Aug 7:

Friday: Stephanie arrive in Northern Virginia. I had to drive over to Baltimore to pick her up which was a blast. Unfortunately, earlier that day was my last day with PF. It was a pretty sad day. It is amazing how fast you get attached to a job and the great people you work with. I just hope that I will catch up to them again one day soon.

Saturday: Whirlwind Tourism: Steph and I set out for DC to conquer as many sights as possible. We started at the Holocaust Museum before heading to the National Mall. We checked out the World War II Memorial, The Jefferson Memorial, the Tidal Basin, the FDR Memorial, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam Memorial. We then made our way to the Reagan building to partake of their food court and much needed AC. Thankfully, Stephanie managed to bring some of that good ole Texas heat with her to DC! After visiting the Smithsonian American History Museum and an aborted effort to visit the National Archives, we headed down to the Washington Nationals game. I have been to three games in Nationals Park and I must say - Stephanie was by far my favorite company to go with. Sorry everyone else.

Sunday: We woke up early to head to Pennsylvania. My second epic showdown with the Mason Dixon Line. Fortunately, Gettysburg was only about an hour from my house. Unfortunately, the brand new museum was wicked overpriced. So, instead, Steph worked the map as my navigator as we headed out on a driving tour of the battlefield. The entire loop was 20+ miles and took us nearly 2 hours to drive without the CD accompaniment. I want to say that it was because they were not narrated by James Earl Jones. Really, I was too cheap. Anyway, it was a difficult sight to behold - the epitome of the war that nearly tore our nation in two. I have to say that Arkansas had a very impressive monument. After a brief stop at the hosue, we drove down to DC to walk around the White House at night. It is nice to be able to drive around DC at night without traffic or tourists. Got to love Sunday night.

Monday: Steph and I went down to see the attraction she most highly anticipated: The International Spy Museum. I was actually pleasantly surprised by what they had to offer - a great variety of gadgets from US and Commie spies. We had a great time. However, after this adventure, we realized that this was the end of our tourism - we were exhausted. We went back to my house for me to pack up and get ready for the great road trip.

Tuesday: We got up at 6 AM Eastern time for the great adventure. It was nice to see the sun rise over the mountains - a fitting goodbye to the beauty of Virginia. At a quarter til 9, we stopped in Lexington, VA - home of VMI, Washington & Lee University. More importantly, the town is the final resting place of General Stonewall Jackson and General Robert E. Lee. On this morning, we stopped to pay our respects to General Lee. Upon arrival, we stopped to take a picture of the resting place of Lee's faithful steed Traveller. We then snuck in to the unlocked basement to see the masoleum where Gen. Lee and the rest of his family is buried. Here I might or might not have taken an illegal picture of his burial place. That is still up for debate.

Resuming our roadtrip, we keep up a good pace only being slowed by a horrific rainstorm and light hail near Knoxville, TN. That was pretty appropriate. Don't worry. Neither hail nor unruly Tennessee fans can deter Neil Diamond.

Finally, by 10 PM Central, we rolled into Little Rock. Something like 17 hours of driving, stops for gas, one dinner in Memphis with Vanculen, and some horrendous storms. All in one day.


So, it all came to an end. The great summer adventure bookended by roadtrips to and from DC.

Moments I should have known...

Moments I should have known....

...I would never make it as a baseball player.


When I was in 6th grade, I played on a more competitive Little League team. The step up in competition was a good way to prove my mettle as a player. This was when I learned to play third base and a few other things about life.

Two instances told me I would not make it far in the baseball world.

1. Once during a game, I decided to go for the "high sock" look. You know, the old school baseball look where you pull your socks up to your knees. Trying it out the first time, I felt confident and cool. Until my coach walked through the dugout and said, "Caleb, not with those calves."

It was 2 years before I tried the high sock look again.


2. Late in the season, my team was fighting hard for first place in our division. We had our main rival down big. Before the team went out between innings, the coach called us over to the huddle. Here is how it went down:

Coach: "Alright guys, we got them down. And what do we do when the other guy is down?"
Team: "Kick 'em!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me (at the same time): "Help them up!"
Coach: "That's right! Kick 'em! Keep 'em down!"

Probably should have known right there that I wasn't going to make it...